| Update |
[Mar. 30th, 2006|10:31 pm] |
So 2006 has been alright so far! I'm still riding the anti-bullshit band wagon which isnt much of a wagon at all. In fact its really only myself and maybe Bill.
So, January and February were great, I got alot done. I felt great.
March however, was fuckin weird. I've never had such an amazing social life and such depression at the same time before.
I had wild and crazy adventures with alcohol, sex, random strangers, ex-girlfriends, love, solo and team adventures. After reading that list, you'd think many of the items were somehow connected ... nope! In fact, almost none of the were.
And through it all .... I've been down in the dumps.
I think its seasons depression, happens almost every year, usually in heavy in October and March, alittle in between. Its the change of warm air to cold air and cold air to warm air that fucks with my chemistry. But whatever.
Because this week has been warm and I feel great! I've refound my motivation, and spring is finally here both offically and in reality.
I still have vices in my life that need removing. Oh, and music snobery, seriously, I need counciling or something. I feel like only Ian McKay can calm me down about today's state of music or maybe Blake from Jawbreaker/Jets to Brazil.
p.s. Jasmine, if you read this, I listened to Therefore I Am "Empire". Not too shabby I must say. |
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| Its a new year |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|09:58 pm] |
2006 is starting out great! It's had its terriable moments, however, they've only been terriable because of my new 2006 theme. Subconciously I decided 2006 is the year "without bullshit". I love it. Life's too short, I dont have TIME for bullshit and Im not going to deal with it. Here are some examples:
1. I cancelled my city of heroes account because it was taking up way too much time, I dont have time to waste all day long.
2. I've sent out more resume's then you can imagine, I think I already have a job interview lined up with Burlington, I need a fucking better job because the job I have is bullshit, I dont have time for bullshit.
3. My label dropped Lucy Grace because they were dicking us around with this artwork thing, but I mean, come on, we were going to give you $1400 and help promote you, and you dont even bother to keep us well informed with the artwork which is holding up the release nor take the time to put an effort into the artwork when we say that it needs to get done soon? I dont have time for bullshit, Im taking my money elsewhere.
4. Tonight I ditched a girl I had a crush on. I was all set to hang out with her but she wanted to bring her friend along. Ive already hung out with this girl a few times with her and her friends, but I really want to just get to know her well, not her friends. I mean, hanging out with the friends is cool and all, but until its one on one, its hard to really understand someone. That and she ditched me last week. I don't have time for bullshit. There's over a billion girls out there, she can go hang out with her friends without me.
As you can see, it's a new year. I'm learning awesome new words studying for my GRE and I've got my shit together. I know what I want in life and I basic ideas on how to get those things. All those things which just waste my time, I'm not going to stand for anymore. Girls, bands, jobs, whatever, if you're wasting my time, then I'm not going to deal with you anymore. Same goes for bullshit friends, which thankfully, are few and far between. 2005 sucked ass, I'm not fucking around this year. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|07:59 pm] |
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Ive recently discovered the band Fallout Boy has a hit song called "Grand Theft Autumn" ..... way to rip of braid guys, way to rip off braid .... assholes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|03:42 pm] |
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thats a lie, not over it, Im dying over here. |
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| okay |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|02:33 pm] |
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So the last entry was just a lame rant. I'm over it .... I think |
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| wow |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|11:25 pm] |
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Yup, so Im pretty much in love with a girl Ive only talked to for a couple minutes, but yup, she's perfect, everything I find out about her makes her better and better, and to top it off she's single. She plays more instruments then I do and can sing better. She also is big into coffee, sleeping in late, and video games. She's always very beautiful .... Translation: Im inevidtably doomed to fall for this girl and not get her. God damn it, I really would love to just take this girl out to dinner or something ... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2005|12:10 pm] |
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I just listed to the dread mp3s on myspace ...man, we were great. How come no one liked us? |
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| ...... |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|03:04 pm] |
I should just give up on bringing people to parties, it never works out .... ever.
Case #1 2001 - This kid Chris that I worked with was a shady character, but he over heard me on the phone at work and found out about a party I was going to. He insisted I take him along. I said he, but he practly begged and said he hasnt gotten a chance to really go out in awhile. So I figure .... why not? Well the kid ended up doing crazy drugs in the bathroom and ended up being fucking INSANE. We called him Crackhead Chris. Sorry about that Laura T. I had no idea he was that nuts.
Case #2 2003 - I started talking to some chick at my college, she was cute and seemed nice. I didnt know her to well but I was interessted in her, so I brought her to a party I was throwing that weekend. The girl ended up drinking so much, so fast, she couldnt even standup. I had to ditch my own party and baby sit this girl the whole night, and it fucking sucked. I felt pretty embarrassed by it. So Im sorry to everyone for being a shitty host that night.
Case #3 2005 - I wanted to invite a bunch of people to the party last night, so I worked the phones. One of such people was Noelle and her sister Nicole. Well it I found out that Nicole couldnt go and her sister was unreachable, so I assumed no one was comming. Just as I get to the party, I get a a phone call from Noelle saying she's almost there with her boyfriend. Now, immediatly I was worried because the only time I had met this boyfriend, he was wearing a fucking bra. Now, I have no problem with gothic kids, but wearing a bra is just being rebellious for the sake of being rebellious, and I find that lame. Also, Noelle has also been socially awkward in the past but only sometimes. Anyway, with little warning, they showed up, and thankfully no bras were worn by any guy, and my friends were nice and introducted themselves. So it was turning out okay, but Noelle saying to Bob in front of people "I sense you talk alot" was not cool with me. I mean, that would make anyone feel weird. Being rude to one of my best friends is not cool with me, she did something similar with Bill once and I let it go, but pissing off two of my best friends is just too much for me to handle. So fuck that. That was so lame. Sorry Bob, at least her boyfriend wasnt wearing a bra haha.
I think I have other examples too, but I cant think of any. I should just stop trying to bring friends to parties, and how come none of my "socially normal" friends ever come? Everyone must think I hang out with the most fucked up people I can find. What the fuck .... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|07:12 am] |
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Im just cruising through life at the moment, nothing major is going on. I like my new band, even though its pretty much my old band. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2005|03:53 pm] |
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Life is kicking my ass right now, I'm really really stressed out. I think Im going to go buy a pack of cigarettes. I haven't done that in over a year. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|01:55 am] |
I definatly need to move out of my house.
My dad thinks Im a lazy bum and he feels the need to "motivate me"
but Id rather motivate myself then have someone down my throat every day.
I plan to move out in 2005, no matter what. Anyone need a roomate sometime this summer or fall? |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2005|09:17 pm] |
Tonight I wondered what life would be like if I just stopped using my computer. Ive already got tv completely wiped out of my life. Computers are like an abusive lover who you keep comming back to everday. This has got to stop. Myspace, Livejournal, Browsing the news, e-mail, AIM, games. Its not the individual things, its the computer.
I love these things so I wont get rid of them. But Im going to "attempt" to use computers less. Wish me luck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|10:42 pm] |
Rant #5234234
I came up with a new word for girls today.
In fact it just hit me a few minutes ago. "Awful"
not bad, not lame, not crazy, just the world awful. It poured right out of my mouth.
But will I still give them chances time and time again? Hell ya I will.
Except for one kind.
Girls from Tewksbury Massachusetts.
This was followed by some quality rant about Tewksbury girls but I ended up erasing it. Im not even sure why. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2005|07:56 pm] |
Here's the update.
My student that I wrote about last entry came in with her parents to get paperwork. So I got to say a formal goodbye, which rocked. That will be the highlight of my week.
Cause here's the rest of the week.
A friend of mine told me over the weekend in a drunken rant that he's doing terriable. He said his current state is at an all time low.
It reminded me of my current state which I will rank as followed:
Top 5 worst times in my life:
1. Second year of college at Northeastern (I pretty much lost my mind all together)
2. First year of college at Northeastern ( It was like the second year, except at least the first year I was too stoned to realize how shitty I was)
3. Now
4. My 8th grade year (I had alot of things going for me, it also had alot of depression and overall badness)
5. Im not sure, but I do recall being a little kid and depressed when I was roughly 6 or 7. My mom wanted to take me to a doctor but I was too embarrased of my dad finding out, so I told her I was fine and didnt need to go. I was probably find overall. I just couldnt think of a number 5 in a top 5 list. This was too long ago to really judge.
However, today ranks in just under Northeastern days. That really sucks. Those are days Ive practiclly blocked out, and barely talk about to anyone. Im almost as bad as I was then.
Reasons for going insane lately:
1. No band practices with The Dread Accusation because my parents wont let us practice at my house anymore and we cant afford a practice space(I need creativity to survive)
2. No friends. ( I have plenty of friends, tons in fact. But they've either become lame or they're busy, or far away)
3. No girls. (I dont have a crush on anyone, no one. And if you know me at all, thats not normal for me)
4. I live at home with parents I can barely stand.
5. Im broke and the pressure of getting a real teaching position next year scares the shit out of me.
Im whining, and I hate whining. But seriously, Im only happy about 20% of the time for the past bunch of months, and its really starting to bother me. 2004 was kind of a weak year, so I had high hopes for 2005. I usually have good years following the mediocre ones. But 2005 is seirously slacking.
I dont expect comments, Im just bitching cause I need to bitch and this is my livejournal to do it in. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|02:43 pm] |
My favorite student who I always tried to look out for is gone, just like that. No goodbyes, no logical explaination, just gone. Alive, but not well, at least not well with a home life like she has. Mom is pulling her for whatever blah blah bs psychotic explaination she has for us.
I still dont know how I feel about it completely, because I dont think I want to let myself. The rest of the school year just wont be the same. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|10:15 pm] |
Soooo much is going on lately
yet so little
how is this possible?
I cant wait for winter to be over. Bring on the spring! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|08:12 pm] |
my job is hard
really really hard.
Id go as far to say
I have a much harder job then everyone who will read this. |
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| Love that dirty watah |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|10:46 pm] |
Holy shit
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6868343/
How was Boston so lucky to get Brady and Schilling. I mean, are they not the most badass athletes in professional sports?
Schilling with a bloody ankle kicking ass.
Brady practicly bed ridden and kicking ass.
Thats nuts. |
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